God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
