And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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