Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I forget how to act sober
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
