Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
