That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
