Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
