Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
