I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
