I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
