There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
