Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
