meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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