well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
