Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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