his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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