If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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