What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize