Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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