I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize