You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
