Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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