Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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