i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
