I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
