the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
