went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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