i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
