I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
