I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
