Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
