How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
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