i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?