if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
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So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.