there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.