so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE