you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Send help, water and tortillas.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
