my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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