I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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