Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
