i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
