Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
