Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
