i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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