My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
