As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
