didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
