Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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