he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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