I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
What drink are we having for lunch?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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