woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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