I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
