official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
