Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
