My sheets look like a crime scene.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
