i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
