a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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