That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize