I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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