Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
