dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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