Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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