based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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