he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize