I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
