he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
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i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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