Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
