why didn't you poke me back
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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