How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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