Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
