If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
