And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
